When I started my business I set out with the righteous notion of helping people.  This holidays that changed.  Imagine this: “ Florence you don’t know my life, my situation circumstances, financial situation, my culture.  The list could go on.  “What gives you the expertise and position to tell me how it goes, how I should run my business or live my life. “

After listening to more “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert and then subsequently watching all the episodes on Netflix of the show” Chef’s Table, probably the least expected place I would be learning about myself.

The Chef’s table show is about the lives of some of the top chefs in the world. They share how they got to where they are, and what makes them happy, creatively fulfilled – and the stories are not easy ones.  The common theme intrigued me.  The were all saying the same thing that I’d heard in listening to Elizabeth Gilbert’s, but in a different context.

“As soon as I stopped doing my thing “for others” and focused purely on what made me happy and fulfilled creatively, I found happiness and peace in my heart” (and ultimately success).

I was flawed.  They all spent time gathering their “Career Capital” then tried to cook like someone else or what they through their guests wanted.  As soon as they stopped doing that, relinquished all perceived expectations, they found their zone of genius, passion and happiness. From a writing / content point of view Elizabeth’s perspective is very similar.  She writes her books for herself.  As if writing it down makes it easier for her to take her own advice. Each story is for herself at the moment she writes it.  For the now, that specific moment in time.  The lesson, story or encouragement SHE needed to hear.  She goes on to say by writing only for herself there is no expectation for it to help others, there is no expectation that anyone would agree or find it useful.

By doing so all the pressure of achievement success or effects for others are removed and lifted.  If the writing doesn’t connect with someone, it does so organically to their interpretation.  How it suits them, their situation and circumstances, how they choose to read it.  There is no more forced and pointed sense of that “Helping others” martyrdom in the writing.

Watching those whose truly happy sparkle glows in their eyes, who are helping others, are doing so because they love the work they do on a deeply personal level.  It gives them personal satisfaction, joy, a creative outlet or expression of passion.  The chefs who showed they were creatively expressing and challenging themselves had a sense of calm content and happiness about them. Their purpose was not to conform but to serve their creative needs and share the outcomes with others with that joy in enjoying what they do.

These chefs and writers have changed their own worlds by doing so and unconsciously have changed the lives of those around them.  The experiences they share with others are truly authentic and very vulnerable.  People connect with this openness and authenticity on a deeper level. They are challenged by observing the author or creator living their magick, their truth, being their authentic creative selves.

Reading everything I have written now about my business, why I want to do what I do – I know it needs doing over. I will work over the beginning of 2017 to update my website to reflect how my thinking has changed and the “WHY” of my business.  My need to help others and feel like I am giving back to the universe has not gone away, and I don’t think ever will.  But my perspective on how to go about it has completely changed.  I don’t know you.  I don’t know your life, I only know mine, and the things that effect me.  I can only write about those, I can only tell you my story.  I don’t do it from a place of self absorption but from a place of wanting to be a better version of myself to in turn share that with the world in a positive way. I do hope that you will connect with what I do, how I write and what I share, but it is no longer my motive, or my expectation.

I want to help you by showing you the best authentically creative version of me.

This is a very scary thought for me.  Putting my real self out there, being open to judgement and criticism, being brave to say “This is me and this is what I write, this is what I create.”  Doing, making and writing what I’ve learned, self help for myself, and courses that I would take, that I want to learn. It’s like stepping outside without an umbrella, being scared of the rain, and hoping it will be fun to jump in the puddles and that the rainbows will come out.

I only know what is my truth for right now, and I accept that as I grow and learn this will probably change.  I will learn from you!  I will share what I learn and how I grow with no expectations and I release that martyr-esque mentality of only doing what I do to help others.  If I am happy I have more love to give, if I am creatively fulfilled I am making and creating things to share with the world.  THAT is magick. That is what I want to live for, that is what I want to build my business around.  If this even prompts a thought in your head it has done more than it was written for.

My business is a creative outlet, for me to build things, write things, and share. It will follow my journey, document the things I learn and how I grow.  I am eternally grateful for those who listen who follow, and support me.  May I support and follow you in doing the same, living your fulfilled creative and magickal life.